selenagomanon-deactivated201302 asked: Hey gorgeous. i'd like to remind you that you're flawless. You have a stunning smile, and it'd really brighten my day if you showed it off. You're honestly perfect the way you are, and i hope one day you'll realize that. But until then, you're flawless to me, alright? The pain may be bad now, but it'll get better. i guarantee that. stay strong (: i'm here if you need to talk.
oh thanks I appreciate the kind words, but I am a writer, that was an excerpt from pieces of writings I’m working on. The character in the story has decided to already die, but thanks anyway
He drove for hours that night, listening to Restless Heart over and over again. He had no idea if anyone back home even knew he was gone yet. He left quietly when his mother and grandmother fell asleep. It was about five in the morning and he had no idea where he was, except that he wasn’t that far from the place. All he could see was the road ahead of him, and the black abyss to the left where the rock beneath the car ended, dropped two hundred feet meeting the pacific. The ocean.
It was dark but almost bright at the same time this early June morning. He hoped the moon would be out while he drove up, from Los Angeles, he wanted to see the sea beneath him but it was too misty most of the way. The 1 was quite frightful during the mist but he had no choice but to drive through if he wanted to go unnoticed. That was the most important thing, to leave, arrive, and be dead before anyone ever noticed his absence.
He glanced at the leather bag on the passenger seat which held the silver gun. Twenty more minutes and I’ll set eyes, for the first time, on the place where I will, for the last time, see.
I Just Came
I just came and it’s all the same
II
…Fuck man, he felt like such a pussy. Why couldn’t he just get out.
There were so many things that he wanted to do without her. There used to be a myriad of things he wanted to do with her…
continued from I …….
…She told him that she wished she “could with him” but that she “didn’t want to lose him.” Boy that was the biggest piece of shit he had ever heard. Even shittier then the crispy microwaved shit chicken the waitress was serving them at that exact moment. He knew he was only her friend, her backup, her support, the one person in the world who would be there when there was no one else.
He sat still for a moment gazing, cold-faced, at the glowing screens which lined the walls. She typed hurriedly on her mac book unknowing of the chaos inside of his head.
_
They were driving down fair oaks in her silver mustang at high speed of 50 mph in a 35. She blabbered away about the exhibit the actor James Franco took part in at the MOCA. He stared forward at the road pretending to be interested in her thoughts about the recreation of the Chateau Marmont inside of the gallery.
All he thought about were the dolls that covered the floor of one of the rooms. They were sex dolls, and some were laying unintentionally idle, while others seemed to be placed purposefully with dildos inserted into their asses or mouths. He felt they were kindred spirits the dolls and him. He was after all her doll.
All We Think About is the Next Hit
As I finished cumming tonight I realized it came a lot faster then the first time we had sex. Meaning it took less time to get there. The first time we let our bodies near each others it was fucking amazing, it was passionate, it was new. This time however, it was familiar and it seemed that we were going to skip the passionate rolling of our tongues and lips, we were just going to head for the big finish.
Having sex with somebody for the first time is equivalent to shooting up heroin. The first time is unexplainably good and fucking awesome. Then when it’s over you think about the next time you’re going to shoot up again so you can feel amazing again. When you have sex with someone for the first time usually there was a build before. A sit down at a coffee shop, maybe a movie where you kiss for the first time, then maybe a lunch date. All the while you’re building all of this sexual tension because you like her, she likes you and you know you want to fuck but now is not the time. Finally when you do it it’s like all this tension is released and holy shit it’s good.
After that, all you can think about for the next couple days is when you’re going to see her and be with her again. You want to feel the same way.
all we think about is how to feel like we did when we took that first hit. It goes back even before first sexual encounters, we want to feel like the first time we masturbated. Back in that room when we were thirteen.
Sex is such a big part of our lives and all it comes down to is this hit, this rush. This idea that we have in our head that it feels fucking amazing.
I
They sat there at that asian get-together-of-a-place staring at their glowing screens. Yeah they had boba, and yes they ate gleaming asian microwave cuisine. What a tough night it was for him. All he did was think about the fact that she was fucking somebody else. Why was he still even going along with this.
She had fucked that guy from the coffee shop they always went to and now the agreement was to move forward, forget the past, and continue living in this hell hole of a relationship. Fuck man, he felt like such a pussy. Why couldn’t he just get out.
There were so many things that he wanted to do without her. There used to be a myriad of things he wanted to do with her.
